One of my favorite songs to listen to when I'm in a great mood (other than "Cult of Personality", of course) would have to be "The Past Should Stay Dead" by Emarosa. The title basically says it all. The past should indeed stay dead. Most times, after a relationship or friendship that was once something amazing ends on a sour note, one or possibly even both of the people wish that things would go back to the way they once were. While it's possible that could happen, there's also a very strong chance it won't. Attempting to recreate history is quite honestly a waste of time, as it's extremely difficult to recapture the magic the friendship/relationship had the first time around. Sure, you may be able to patch things up with the person and are good terms with one another, but things will probably never be the same. There lies the issue. Those very same people use the past as an excuse not to happy, wishing that things would revert back to the way they used to be. Wishing will hardly get you anyway, but doing something about it will. Now, I'm not saying to spend an excessive amount of time attempting to get things back to "normal", but I guess it's worth a shot. What's important is that you learn your lesson from the past and avoid making that same mistake again. That's what the past is good for. Reminiscing on the past is nice once in awhile, but living in the past will not help you get further into the future. So many things lie ahead of you in life, and being oblivious to those futuristic wonders by focusing on the past won't help matters whatsoever. Memory lane will always be there and taking a trip down it every so often is completely fine, but in the meantime, you're missing out what's right in front of you: the future. As I've said time and time again, everything happens for a reason, so there's a reason as to why something ended the way it did. Worrying about it won't benefit you in the least and will amount to nothing in the end. If I can relate for a brief moment, I came across this exact situation just yesterday. I was close friends with a girl last year to the point where we were practically dating, but things didn't end well. A series of things happened over the course of the next few months (which you'll probably hear me talk about some other time), but the most recent incident occurred in May. Long story short, I felt she was disrespecting me with something she did that day and I took out my frustrations in a series of tweets on Twitter (no surprise there). I wasn't talking to her at the time anyways, so she never came to me and asked me about what I said. The situation was left untouched until yesterday, where I contacted her for the first time in months to wish her a happy birthday (which she did to me earlier in the year, so I thought it was only fair). I also wanted to clear up how I didn't have any hard feelings towards her despite what happened. She appreciated the well wishes, but it seemed like she was trying to make me feel bad about what I had stated in those vulgar tweets in May.
Of course, I apologized as that was deserved, but I didn't really feel all that bad about it since we were both at fault. Throughout the entire conversation, it seemed she was the exact same unchanged person she was earlier this year, so I have no intensions of taking it any further to see if she'd change back. I had given her that one more chance (see: previous blog), and, well, she failed. My point is don't go back wishing you did something differently, blaming yourself, and/or attempting to change someone back to the person they once were or the person you want them to be. There's no use, so the next best thing you can do is to leave them and the past behind and just move forward. Focus on the here and now, as that is what's going to help build the foundation for your future. |
Archives
February 2017
|