 By Graham "GSM" Matthews This weekly blog will document my firsthand experiences as a student at Endicott College. Additionally, I will attempt to offer advice to fellow college students or those looking to attend college down the line. Unless you attend a college that is close to home, odds are that you probably won't know many of the people on your campus upon your arrival. Sure, you get to know people at summer orientation (if your college has one of those) and can form some friendships there, but for the most part, you are going into college without knowing almost anyone. That might be intimidating to some, and welcoming for others. Personally, I fall under the latter category. I couldn't wait any longer to leave high school behind and move on to something new, including meeting some new people. In basic terms, I wasn't particularly fond of many people at my high school, so graduation couldn't have come soon enough. Then again, unlike most, I am more of an introverted person and enjoy my own personal privacy as opposed to being around other people. That is just who I am, and I have come to learn that college is the perfect place for someone like me. That being said, I don't despise all of humanity and do enjoy being around select few people. As I write this, I am at the library and on my way here, I greeted at least five people I consider to be acquaintances There is a difference between acquaintances and friends, but that is another discussion for another day. Anyway, as a freshman, you will be at the bottom of the totem pole. Upperclassmen are bound to look down on you, so don't be surprised if they do. Surely you will do the same thing when you are at their level, too (you probably did it as a senior in high school). The important thing is to make friends with people either in your dorm, classes, or major. That way, you can help each other out with homework and have something to do and/or discuss when you are together. Since arriving here at college, I have seen plenty of people not know where they fit in the social circle and mindlessly join other groups of friends in attempt to be liked. That isn't always a bad thing, but it can be when you are becoming "friends" with a group of people that you can't be yourself around. For example, I met a really sweet, kind girl at summer orientation this past summer who seemed pretty innocent for the most part. I hadn't talked to her at all until this past week, finding out she became friends with people she could drink with. Maybe she was a drinker at the time I met her, I am not really sure, but it is a shame to see people become followers as opposed to leaders.
Perhaps you think that no one is like you on campus and you will never be able to make friends but you don't want to change who you are to fit in (as previously mentioned). Regardless of the size of the college you attend, there is bound to be someone who shares similar interests as you. I, for one, am a die-hard wrestling fan (pretty sure that goes without saying) and couldn't find anyone else on campus who loved wrestling as much as I did. That didn't discourage me at all, I just didn't think about it too much. Sure enough, I discovered only a few days ago that a girl I have friends with for the last month was also a huge wrestling fan at one point and also understands my passion for the product. Never give up hope, as some people might just surprise you. I had the option of attending a college almost an hour away from me that offered everything that the college I am at now does. The only difference between the two universities was that one was closer to home in Connecticut, and the other was close to three hours away in Massachusetts. Come to think of it, it was exactly a year ago today on October 20 that I checked out Quinnipiac University. A number of kids from my high schools ended up going there, but I didn't. I couldn't have been happier with my ultimate decision. Sure, I would have been closer to home, but why would I have wanted to go home so often anyway? As mentioned in past posts, I wanted to get away from home, so going back there every weekend would be rather illogical. That is not to say that going home every weekend is necessarily a bad thing, though. One of my two roommates lives nearly 30 minutes away from the college. He went home this past weekend for the third consecutive week. He knows almost everyone on campus, or so it seems that way. A handful of kids from his high school go here, which is why that is. However, once college is all over, he (or anyone who goes to college with people they have been friends with for years) won't be seeing those friends as frequently anymore, if ever again. Once you enter the real world, you won't have as much time for friends and people of that nature. You won't have classes together anymore, mainly because you are out of school. Life takes people in different directions, and once you are separated from your friends, you will need to learn how to rely on your networking skills to make new connections. I have adjusted just fine socially since coming to college. I don't attend parties in hopes of finding someone to drink/smoke with (I'm straightedge, so that is pretty much out of the question). I don't go out looking for friends. If I happen to run into someone I find intriguing or would be cool to be friends with, then great. My theory is for it to happen naturally. Don't force friendships, otherwise you will come off as desperate. If you are one of those people who needs other people in order to be entertained, just give it time and you will find a friend at some point. If you are like me and enjoy your own company, still look to find someone who may be either similar to you or just wait for them to come to you. Forming friendships is one of the biggest fears incoming freshmen have, but you would be surprised how easily you can make friends without having to put forth much effort. |
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