David Otunga Granted JTG's Old Ironclad Contract, Will Remain with WWE Until 2050 (Satire)

By Graham "GSM" Matthews

SATIRE -- Last June, the wrestling world was shaken to its very core when JTG's (real name Jayson Paul) near eight year tenure with World Wrestling Entertainment came to an end. He was released along with Yoshi Tatsu, Curt Hawkins, Aksana and a bunch of others who fans were unaware were still on the roster. For a long while, it was rumored that he was signed to a deal that stated he couldn't be released until someone more deserving (or in this case, a more useless wrestler) of the contract came along. It was confirmed by a source that wished to remained nameless that this was true, and that his heir to the throne was none other than David Otunga.

JTG, for the many years he was in WWE for, was notorious for being a glorified waste of space on the roster. He remained hidden, and due to that, he survived countless cuts when others such as Drew McIntyre, Evan Bourne and Brodus Clay were fired instead. Having not competed on WWE programming for as long as R-Truth has been irrelevant, his job was secure. That was, however, until he decided to show up at catering one day, was spotted by one of the Superstars, and made the mistake of picking up his phone the following day when he was called of his release.

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David Otunga, who hasn't been seen on WWE TV since WrestleMania 30 last year, is now being referred to as the "new JTG of WWE," and rightfully so; not only does he compete less frequently than the Brooklyn native, he also acquires his old contract which will reportedly keep him with the company through 2050.

Shortly following his release, JTG threatened WWE with a lawsuit after discovering his ironclad contract had been passed down to Otunga. A clause in the contract noted Otunga must have an on-air presence of some sort in order to stay with the company. Vince McMahon, who is very aware of how dangerous he can be in the ring and on the mic, knew it would be catastrophic to put him back on Raw. This led to Otunga being placed on the pre-show before Raw on the WWE Network, a safe platform for the former Nexus member to appear given no one watches it, anyway.

In his five year stint with WWE, Otunga came close to winning the inaugural season of NXT (back when it was still a crappy competition show), got viciously attacked by John Cena when he served as the guest host of Raw, had two forgettable reigns as WWE Tag Team Champion, and was the lawyer of Alberto Del Rio at one time (which clearly did him no good as we know now). In other words, he has accomplished next to nothing over the course of his career, which is exactly why he won't be let go. He has been signed to what is being called the "JTG deal," a contract named after the late, great former Cryme Tyme member.

A unidentified source said, "(David) Otunga is considered safe as long as he's with Jennifer Hudson. For his sake, I hope they never separate."

All facts in this article are erroneous and compete faction. If you took it seriously, well, joke's on you. Thanks for reading!