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Report: Brock Lesnar Refuses to Job to Mark Hunt at UFC 200 (Satire)

7/8/2016

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By Graham "GSM" Matthews​

As UFC 200 quickly approaches, it seems as if nothing is going right for UFC President Dana White when it comes to what was once believed to be the organization's most loaded lineup to date. First, Connor McGregor vs. Nate Diaz was pulled from the card due to McGregor's unwillingness to make the media rounds. Then, Jon Jones was suspended, causing his scheduled fight with Daniel Cormier to be altered if not abolished all together. Now, Brock Lesnar vs. Mark Hunt might be in jeopardy following the breaking news that Lesnar refuses to do the job for Hunt at the event.

The internet nearly imploded at the announcement Lesnar would be returning to the octagon for the first time in nearly five years at UFC 200. It was later revealed he would be going up against Mark Hunt, a well-respected athlete and a seasoned veteran in the world of mixed martial arts. Lesnar will also be making history in becoming the first person ever to compete in the UFC while under contract to WWE. Yet there is a likely chance the contest could be called off unless Lesnar's demands are met.


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Report: Mike Adamle Rumored to Return to WWE as New Raw General Manager (Satire)

6/8/2016

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By Graham "GSM" Matthews

With WWE's Brand Split set to return this coming summer, rumors have run rampant as to who will be appointed the general managers of Raw and SmackDown. Stephanie McMahon confirmed her status as the SmackDown general manager this past week, leaving fans to question who will take the reins of Raw. Although early speculation pointed to Shane McMahon serving as the authority figure of the flagship show, it is now being reported Mike Adamle is set to be brought back as the new Raw general manager.

If you aren't already familiar with Mike Adamle, you should be. Best known to fans as the "Jeff Harvey Guy," he made his WWE debut as an announcer at 2008's Royal Rumble pay-per-view event, infamously botching the name of Jeff Hardy. His exceptional mic work eventually earned him a spot behind the booth on ECW that April, and before long, he was promoted to the position of Raw general manager by Shane McMahon himself.


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Report: WWE to Bring Back ECW... Again (Satire)

5/25/2016

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By Graham "GSM" Matthews

​It's been an exciting week to be a WWE fan as it was announced this morning that the Brand Split will be brought back this coming summer. This will coincide with SmackDown going live on Tuesday nights on the USA Network starting July 19th.

It was noted by WWE in their official press release that for the first time in nearly five years, SmackDown will have its own "distinct roster," and that a Draft to determine who ends up on which brand is "imminent." It was also said that along with the rosters for Raw and SmackDown being separate again, ECW will be brought back as a third brand... for a second time.


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Report: Reason Behind Adam Rose's WWE Suspension Revealed (Satire)

4/16/2016

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By Graham "GSM" Matthews

It was announced today on WWE.com that Adam Rose, along with Konnor of The Ascension, was suspended for 60 days for his second violation of the WWE Wellness Policy. No details were known about what led to his shocking suspension... until now.

According to a reliable source (i.e. the janitor who works part-time at WWE Headquarters), Rose has been dealing with depression for the past several months following his fall from grace in the company. At this time two years ago, Rose was a top prospect on the NXT brand and was destined for greatness on Monday Night Raw, though an excessive amount of partying led to his entourage (a.k.a. the Rosebuds) ditching him. Yes, The Bunny included.


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