Friday Night SmackDown Review - May 16, 2014

Batista leaves Dolph Ziggler lying motionless.

By Graham "GSM" Matthews

John Cena Addressed The Wyatt Family

Was it really necessary for Cena to cut unfunny jokes yet again? Everything else he said was fine, but I'm sorry, the fact he couldn't play it straight for most of the promo ruined it for me, personally. At least he wished Daniel Bryan well in his surgery, which he should have done Monday on Raw. He set up the main event of the show nicely by issuing an open challenge to any member of The Wyatt Family, but aside from that, this was a pretty forgettable segment.


WWE Tag Team Champions The Usos def. Cody Rhodes and Goldust (Non-title)

I was disappointed with the first ever meeting between these two teams a few weeks ago on Raw, so I was glad they were given more time to shine here. It would have meant more many months ago, but it was still enjoyable. It was good match up until the hot finishing sequence that made it the best bout on the entire show, though that isn't saying much. Cody's comments afterward were interesting, but the commentators failing to even acknowledge what he said under his breath was aggravating and took away from the point of the match.

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John Cena delivers the patented Five Knuckle Shuffle.

El Torito def. Heath Slater

This was a complete joke of a match, though you probably already knew that going in. Continuing this dumb feud between Los Matadores and 3MB is one thing, but to stretch it across all three of WWE's main shows is asinine. Slater is a comedy figure, so the fact El Tortio won means nothing nor was it even supposed to. Writing about this match just gives me a headache. Can't you save this garbage for the house shows and be done with it?


Nikki Bella def. Natalya with Eva Marie as Special Guest Referee

I don't have enough bad things to say about this match. First off, Eva Marie was a terrible, pointless referee, but a blind Stevie Wonder could see that coming given her talent (or lack thereof) in the ring. Secondly, the match was mostly forgettable, and anything decent about it was completely overshadowed by the stupidity of the reason behind it. I have said in the past that I am contest with transferring stories over from Total Divas onto WWE programming, but if it's something as stupid as this, then I'd rather not see it at all.


Dolph Ziggler def. Batista by Disqualification

Don't be fooled, folks. Yes, technically Ziggler won the match, but he hardly got any offense in at all. However, that was the sole purpose of the match to begin with, so it was effective in that respect. It established Batista as a ruthless competitor and Ziggler sold the attack like a million bucks like only he could. Batista has been doing great work in recent weeks and I honestly don't think that he has gotten the credit he deserves for it.


United States Champion Sheamus def. Titus O'Neil (Non-title)

I was fine with the quick loss O'Neil took a few weeks back on Raw because it came after O'Neil unleashed absolute hell on Sheamus, but this was a straight-up burial. O'Neil's pre-match promo was mediocre at best and didn't make up for the loss he suffered in less than 30 seconds. I don't even know what it was supposed to do for Sheamus, who still desperately needs to turn heel. I really wish O'Neil would be a solid midcarder, but it's stuff like this that make it difficult for fans to take him seriously.


Santino Marella def. Damien Sandow

I have lost all faith in that WWE has any remote idea what they're doing with Sandow right now. He looks to be given a new gimmick that he's outspoken and dropping "pipebombs" whenever given a microphone, but it isn't translating well on television and the crowds aren't buying into it. I really hope that it's a new direction for Sandow, but it's probably WWE's way of trying something new with him that won't go anywhere. Oh, and a match happened that Santino won. End of story.


Cesaro def. R-Truth

Cesaro didn't appear on Raw this week and had a brawl with Sheamus on WWE Main Event as opposed to an actual match, so they had to maintain his momentum somehow. Truth isn't the most exciting opponent, of course, but he took he loss like he should have and gave Cesaro the win he needed. It didn't give me any idea of what they have in mind for Cesaro, but it was a fine squash victory.


John Cena def. Erick Rowan

Obviously, Rowan is the greenest member of The Wyatt Family, but even he managed to have a good match with Cena. They were given good time and Cena hid Rowan's weaknesses well. Rowan was the right guy to take the loss for Cena and The Wyatt Family lost nothing from this. On that same token, it did nothing to further my interest in the ongoing feud between Cena and Bray Wyatt.


Overall Show

This had to be the worst episode of SmackDown in recent memory. It was mostly compromised of pointless, brief bouts that accomplished little to nothing. Not even appearances from John Cena and Batista could save this show from being an utter waste of time. The Usos vs. the Rhodes brothers was very good and Cena vs. Rowan was solid, but there's no real need to go back and watch them if you missed them, and the same can be said for the rest of the show. Skip this edition unless you truly have nothing else to do.

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