IMPACT Throwback Throwdown III Review - December 2, 2022

By Graham "GSM" Matthews

Rapid Delivery Pete def. Monty Moonlight

Zicky Dice, who portrayed Moonlight, is perfect for the IPWF stuff. I don't remember if he was at last year's installment, and I definitely didn't remember Swann playing a dude named Rapid Delivery Pete until I saw highlights of last year's installment. Regardless, this was a fun little match wisely positioned as the opener. Pete using some of his pizza to pick up the victory was a nice touch.

Bill Ding def. Jack Hammer in a Clock Out Match

Both Ding (Trey Miguel) and Hammer (Andrew Everett) are construction workers. Miguel and Hammer could definitely have a banger of a bout given how talented both guys legitimately are, but I wasn't shocked they toned it down here for this show and instead went for comedy. The Clock Out stipulation basically made it a Pole match, but it was clever and they made the most of it.

Otto Ottoman Interviewed Walter Chesnut

G.L.U.W. stood for Great Lakes Envisioned Wrestling and was led by Chestnut, played by IMPACT ring announcer David Penzer. Bless his heart for trying, but he delivered his lines horribly backstage beforehand and this wasn't much better. Let's just say there's a reason why he's a ring announcer and not a manager. At any rate, this served its purpose of hyping up the main event, but this would have been better off shorter backstage.

Georgia Cobb def. Wanda The Werewoman

Wanda (Savannah Evans) was presented by The $304,000 Man (R.D. Evans). You can tell Jordynne Grace loves playing Cobb and doing these shows, even though her character isn't too different than who she is normally. I haven't seen too many great matches with Evans in IMPACT, but maybe these two would have been capable of something better if this was taken more seriously. It was the most competitive match on the show up to this point and was decent while it lasted.

Sebastian Baker and Rusty Iron Interrupted Lady Bird Johnston and Tori Nailbiter

This was weird because Johnston (Jessicka/Havok) beat Miss Bea Haven (Alisha) in a match that aired on Before The Impact last Thursday, but the post-match angle aired here. I know this was supposed to serve as the setup for Iron vs. Nailbiter later on, but this was another segment that didn't need to happen and could have been shorter than it was. I realize they needed to kill time to justify this being a three-hour event (more on that later), but had this been cut out, it really wouldn't have affected anything.

"The Dynamic Dude" Shane Douglas and Brian "Bone" Crunchin def. The Sunday Morning Express

Chris Sabin was one of the members of Sunday Morning Express, but I'm not sure who his partner was. Where was Alex Shelley? They made it clear with their pre-match promo they were the heels in this one. S.T.O.M.P. in Paradise (Matt Cardona and Brian Myers) were supposed to face them, but Cardona was attacked backstage and Shane Douglas (yes, that Shane Douglas) filled in for him. Everyone involved having a blast with this made it better than it had any right to be.

Monsieur Baguette def. "Ornery" Otis Oates

This marked Baguette's (Mike Bailey) IPWF debut. You could tell he was having a blast portraying this persona. I'm a fan of his, but Bailey doesn't have a personality that stands out above everyone else because he largely lets his wrestling do the talking for him, so it was cool to see him step outside of his comfort zone here. Oates was Deaner, who hasn't done comedy since joining Violent By Design almost two years ago. This was less about the wrestling and more about the antics, but it was entertaining enough.

Tommy Dreamer def. Pelvis Wesley; Colonel Corn def. Dreamer

I've complained for years that Dreamer shouldn't be wrestling for IMPACT as often as he does, but this sort of stuff is acceptable. Plus, I find it hilarious that he's old enough to where he theoretically would have wrestled in IPWF and therefore doesn't need to play a different character. Heath (Wesley) was perfectly cast as a Elvis Presley knockoff, and John E. Bravo played his manager Colonel Corn. Dreamer vs. Wesley was okay, and by virtue of his victory, Dreamer earned five minutes in the ring with Corn. The twist was that Corn ended up cheating to beat Dreamer. That played out pretty much how you'd expect.

The Auto-Bodies def. Volcanic Activity

The Auto-Bodies consisted of Mickie James and ODB, while Tasha Steelz and Gisele Shaw made up Volcanic Activity. Shaw seemed to be in her element with the character she was playing, while Steelz was doing something completely different from what she normally does on TV. James and ODB worked well together and this was fine for what it was. I'm glad they got ODB back for this because she fits the IPWF stuff like a glove.

Johnny Swinger def. "Fleet Fleet" Keaton Fox and "Bully" Biff Knuckles to Win the IPWF Exciting Division Championship

Similar to Dreamer, Swinger got to play himself because the joke is that he's old enough to where he could have been wrestling for IPWF back in the day if it was actually a thing, so that got a laugh out of me. Swinger's a total goof, so this was right up his alley. Jason Hotch was Fox and John Skyler was Knuckles, so Swinger being the one to win this imaginary title made sense and the match itself was adequate.

Tori Nailbiter def. Rusty Iron

Nailbiter being accompanied to the ring by Ricky Morton was a cool surprise. He's obviously been a regular in the NWA these past few years and has been managing his son Kerry Morton (who just won the NWA Junior Heavyweight Championship) as of late. He's on his retirement tour currently as well. For a backstage interviewer, Gia Miller (Iron) was impressive and they had a perfectly passable match. I did miss Iron/Miller's pairing with Ace Austin's character that we got at last year's show, though.

DJ 2Large def. "Nature Boy" Buck Humphrey

Sonny Sanders (Sami Callihan), doing his his best Jim Cornette impression, was interviewed beforehand at ringside by Ottoman. It was cool seeing the former Kaleb with a K back as Humphrey and he did an excellent impression of Ric Flair. He was also accompanied by Baby Doll, who has been making the rounds as of late between her appearances in the NWA and on Tales From the Territories as well. I'll never get tired of seeing Moose (2Large) play a totally different character, so I enjoyed this.

Team IPWF (Frank The Butcher, Tim Burr, Cowboy Colt McCoy and Giuseppe Scovelli Jr.) def. Team G.L.U.W.

Chesnut was in Team G.L.U.W.'s corner, and this followed an elimination format. I don't know the names of everyone on Team G.L.U.W., but I know Crowbar, Beer City Bruiser and who I assume was a masked Big Kon were among them. Going with a multi-man match felt fitting for this show and it was as over-the-top as you'd expect. With the win, Team IPWF remains in the hands of its rightful father and son owners.

Overall Show

I don't remember the other Throwback Throwdown shows being three hours in length, but I felt every bit of the three hours for this one. It definitely works better as a throwaway edition of IMPACT! Wrestling than as an Impact Plus-exclusive event. Don't get me wrong, this had its moments and I'm sure there's an audience for this sort of show that features nothing but comedy, but is it really worth paying for? It wasn't a total waste of time and everyone gave it a great effort, but I'd prefer Final Resolution in the December slot and Throwback Throwdown go back to being a holiday edition of IMPACT! Wrestling.

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