By Graham "GSM" Matthews
In light of Valentine's Day today, we look back at WWE's most loving relationships from over the years. There have been many men who attempted win over the WWE Divas, often earning themselves the reputation of being a "pimp" (and no, I'm not talking about The Godfather). WWE named their "Ultimate Valentine" earlier today, and once the votes were cast, it was ultimately revealed that the poll was won by none other than Kane.
Nicknamed "The Big Red Love Machine," Kane has been stealing the hearts of women for almost all of his WWE career. Shortly after debuting in WWE, Kane found his first love interest in Tori, but not even the former WWE champion could prevent from being stabbed in the back by his "best friend" X-Pac, who Tori cheated with. It happens to the best of us, right?
Kane spent the next several years a single man before engaging in a relationship with Lita in 2004. He disposed of her former boyfriend, Matt Hardy, and although she was originally forced into the relationship, she grew to love Kane. She got pregnant with their baby that fall, but suffered a miscarriage following a reckless attack from Snitsky. Not to mention she later left him for Edge.
Any normal man would have given up on love right then and there, but not the demented Kane. He went on to stalk, er, I mean develop an interest in one Kelly Kelly in late 2008. He followed her around for weeks on end, but nothing ever came of the relationship. It has been speculated by the WWE Enquirer that she gave him the excuse that she was too young for him, but that never stopped Jerry "The King" Lawler despite his old age, did it?
At any rate, Kane's pursuit for true love continued. He showed signs of having an interest in Eve at the onset of 2012, but it was unknown whether he actually liked her or just wanted to get closer to Zack Ryder and John Cena, both of whom she was "friendly" with at the time. It was eventually revealed she was a hoeski anyway, so he dodged a bullet there. Who knows what kind of diseases he could have contracted from her.
Last and certainly not least, the Devil's Favorite Demon got involved with AJ Lee around the summer of 2012 and they made quite the controversial couple. Then again, she was also seeing CM Punk and Daniel Bryan around that time, so it's hard to label them as exclusive. Their relationship didn't end on the best of terms, but we did find out he was into crazy chicks.
He has remained single ever since, but his illustrious love history won him the award for WWE's "Ultimate Valentine" this year. Perhaps voters weren't aware of the Katie Vick debacle, but that's another story for another day.
All "facts" in this article are erroneous and compete fiction. If you took it seriously, well, joke's on you. Thanks for reading!
SEE ALSO: "10 WWE Predictions You Can Bank on in 2016 (Satire)"
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