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Report: Mike Adamle Rumored to Return to WWE as New Raw General Manager (Satire)

6/8/2016

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By Graham "GSM" Matthews

With WWE's Brand Split set to return this coming summer, rumors have run rampant as to who will be appointed the general managers of Raw and SmackDown. Stephanie McMahon confirmed her status as the SmackDown general manager this past week, leaving fans to question who will take the reins of Raw. Although early speculation pointed to Shane McMahon serving as the authority figure of the flagship show, it is now being reported Mike Adamle is set to be brought back as the new Raw general manager.

If you aren't already familiar with Mike Adamle, you should be. Best known to fans as the "Jeff Harvey Guy," he made his WWE debut as an announcer at 2008's Royal Rumble pay-per-view event, infamously botching the name of Jeff Hardy. His exceptional mic work eventually earned him a spot behind the booth on ECW that April, and before long, he was promoted to the position of Raw general manager by Shane McMahon himself.

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Some of Adamle's greatest moments as Raw general manager involved him giving Cena medication "not because he needed it but because he wanted it," cutting off Primo during an interview his first night in, and fumbling almost every promo he cut. Sadly, his time on top was cut short when he quit Raw that November because he could no longer handle the pressure and he hasn't been seen since... until now. Adamle is expected to return to Raw immediately following the Draft this July.

"We considered Eric Bischoff as an option, but then we thought, why bring him in when we could re-sign the greatest general manager of all-time?" said Vince McMahon, regarding Adamle's impending second stint as Raw GM. "Those Adamle Originals were too good, he deserves another chance as much as anyone." When asked what qualities about Adamle made him a "great" GM in his opinion, Vince had no comment.

"Basically, no one else was available," clarified Shane. "Stone Cold was busy with other projects, Bischoff didn't want to be belittled again, William Regal is down in NXT, and everyone else flat-out turned us down. Adamle was the only one desperate enough to take the spot, so we gave it to him."

“I would come back in a heartbeat,” Adamle said in a 2014 WWE.com interview. “It’s something I wanted to be a part of and wanted to be successful at. I still think about the people at WWE, because they were great. I miss a lot of them. I miss the atmosphere.”

For those wondering what the innovator of the since-retired Championship Scramble match has been up to since departing from WWE, he has been an anchor on NBC 5 in Chicago, though he recently took his second leave of absence in four years. That was apparently after he got the call from a distraught Shane saying they needed him back to run Raw. Get excited for Adamle's Raw return in the near future. It's going to be big.

All "facts" in this article are erroneous and compete fiction. If you took it seriously, well, joke's on you. Thanks for reading!

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SEE ALSO: "Report: WWE to Bring Back ECW... Again (Satire)

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