By Carson Koschik
We start off Main Event with Team Hell No coming out to the ring for Kane's match with Antonio Cesaro. Maybe it's just the indy bias in me, but I would have liked it a lot better if it was Bryan facing Cesaro. Cesaro comes out and cuts an anti-American yodel. Yes, I said yodel. I guess he's officially dropped the whole anti-American American patriot gimmick he had before. After he's done, some USA chants start from the crowd. Is it just me, or are the USA chants kind of racist? It communicates a "If you aren't from our country we hate you" vibe from the fans. By the way, Kane wasn't born in the States either. He was born in the depths of HELL. The Miz and Daniel Bryan start bickering at commentary about how Miz taught Bryan everything he knows. This isn't a knock on the Miz, but I'm pretty sure Bryan knew 20 times more than the Miz did before he came into the WWE. During the match, Cesaro yodels some more, making a battle cry out of it. God I hope they ake this a part of his character. Watching Antonio Cesaro yodel makes me happy on some many different levels. After a good 20 minutes of in ring action, Kane signals for a Chokeslam and AJ's music hits. She skips around the ring, but Daniel Bryan cuts her off to stop any further distractions. Cesaro hits a diving double stomp, but it isn't enough to put away Kane. Cesaro goes for the Neutralizer but Kane reverses and hits a Chokeslam for the win. Pretty good match. A lot of yodelling from Cesaro. I'm a little peeved that Cesaro keeps losing, as he could've easily gotten a dirty win there, but he doesn't really have a 'Mania match to have momentum for (which is really stupid by the way).
After a few WrestleMania plugs, we go backstage for another super entertaining and totally not lame interview with Sheamus, who talks about not having pints with Big Show or something. I usually tune out during Sheamus promos. And Sheamus matches. And Sheamus. We go back to the ring to see Naomi and Cameron come out to introduce the newly named team of Brodus Clay and Tensai, "Tons of Funk". Remember when Tensai beat Punk and Cena? Ya, me neither. The Rhodes Scholars follow,make some fat jokes, and introduce the Bella Twins, who will be having their return match against Cameron and Naomi. It's pretty clear that WWE had no idea what to do with the Bellas when they resigned them. The match starts off slow, but really picks up pace when Naomi gets tagged in. Naomi deserves so much better than this. She is probably one of the top five Divas in the company right now. Naomi doesn't go off for long though, as the Bellas sneak a win after a distraction from Cody Rhodes. Meh. The rest of the show is a Raw recap, so I'm just going to end it here. Main Event is just starting to turn into another Superstars. I remember the first Main Event on the show was WWE Champion CM Punk vs. Sheamus. Today it was the Funkadactyls vs. the Bellas and a Raw Recap.
Like usual, you can follow me on Twitter @SmarkInProgress, where Brad Maddox now follows me, which means that I win life.