The Usos def. The Revival (Kickoff Match)
It's sad that the sole tag team match at this event was relegated to the Kickoff show and it was even for a set of tag team titles. That's how highly WWE thinks of tag team wrestling, everybody. On the bright side, this was a very fun match while it lasted. Despite the bad creative in this feud, The Usos and The Revival have ripped it up in the ring whenever they've been given the chance to. The Usos avenging their loss to Revival from a few weeks ago was only inevitable.
Universal Champion Seth Rollins def. Baron Corbin
Corbin as a world title contender does nothing for me, personally. He was pretty boring on offense throughout this bout, but I figured that would be the story they'd tell considering Rollins was still selling the injuries he suffered at the hands of Brock Lensar on Monday's Raw. It was a solid match on the whole but nothing worth going out of your way to see. With Rollins rolling up Corbin for the victory and getting attacked by Corbin afterward, their feud will obviously continue going into Stomping Grounds later this month (unfortunately). Meanwhile, Lesnar attempting to cash in his Money in the Bank briefcase but getting thwarted by Rollins via a low blow and some chair shots was well done. It would have been a mistake for WWE to book what was rumored online earlier in the day (Rollins retaining in the opener, Lesnar cashing in, and their matchup ending in a disqualification).
Intercontinental Champion Finn Balor def. Andrade
I realize they had Balor bring back his "Demon" persona here because they needed an additional attraction for the show, but the feud never reached a point where it felt necessary. It didn't make the match any better, and in fact, it fell slightly short of my lofty expectations. The quiet crowd didn't help matters, but aside from a few off spots, it was a well-wrestled affair on the whole. Balor's reign has been a total afterthought so far because of how he's barely been on TV as of late, so hopefully he can receive some more focus coming out of this.
Shane McMahon def. Roman Reigns
I don't care if Shane had Drew McIntyre in his corner or not. There was zero reason for Reigns to sell for Shane as much as he did. It made for a painfully boring bout and an unrealistic one at that, because if we're being honest, Reigns should have ran through Shane with ease here. Instead, Shane mostly dominated Reigns before getting help from McIntyre to beat The Big Dog. Yes, Shane now owns a victory over Roman Reigns. Think of all the people Reigns has needlessly defeated over the years yet he just lost to Shane McMahon of all people. Stop the pain!
Lars Sullivan def. The Lucha House Party in a 3-on-1 Handicap Match by Disqualification
I guess we were supposed to believe that Lucha House Party had a chance of beating Sullivan in his in-ring debut for the main roster. Of course, the outcome was never in doubt, but I'm surprised they opted to go with a disqualification finish. Why bother protecting Lucha House Party at this point? Plus, Sullivan destroyed Lucha House Party post-mach anyway, so it was a puzzling decision. As expected, this was a total throwaway and had no business being on pay-per-view.
Randy Orton def. Triple H
I recently rewatched every one-on-one match Orton and HHH have had in WWE since 2004 for an article I wrote for WhatCulture (read it here!) and I don't think it's a stretch to say that these two do not have the strongest chemistry together. This definitely was not one of their finest outings, if only because virtually nothing happened for the first three-quarters of it. Once they started busting out their finishing moves toward the end, the crowd was hooked, so at least they came alive for something on this show. Orton winning was nice to see since he's more active these days than HHH. I'd love for him to rekindle his rivalry with Kofi Kingston from a decade ago (this time over the WWE Championship) sometime soon.
Braun Strowman def. Bobby Lashley
Considering the only build this bout coming into this event was an arm wrestling match on Raw, fan anticipation was not exactly at an all-time high for it. Although the effort was there, the crowd couldn't have cared less for this and I actually don't blame them. There was no sense of urgency and it was just a bunch of "big man" spots. Both of these guys couldn't feel less important than they do right now.
WWE Champion Kofi Kingston def. Dolph Ziggler
I can't imagine many people saw Ziggler as a legitimate threat to the title. It was tough to buy into the nearfalls as a result, even if this was a good match on the whole. They've worked with each other a million times in the past, but this simply doesn't come across like a true WWE Championship feud to me. Xavier Woods aiding Kingston to victory set up the need for a rematch, which has already been announced as being a Steel Cage match at Stomping Grounds in two weeks. This screams filler until Kingston settles on a higher-profile opponent.
Mansoor Won the 50-Man Battle Royal
Let the record show that EC3 was the first person eliminated from this thing. Yes, even before The Singh Brothers. They might as well give him his walking papers at this point. There were other eye-rolling moments like Titus O'Neil eliminating The Viking Raiders and Sin Cara throwing out Shinsuke Nakamura, but this company has way worse problems right now. Needless to say, this was a complete mess, but Mansoor picking up the huge victory made for a cool moment seeing as how he debuted at last year's Greatest Royal Rumble event in Saudi Arabia.
The Undertaker def. Goldberg
I had hope when this match got underway that it'd exceed expectations after Goldberg went after 'Taker right out of the rate, but then it slowly fell apart and never recovered. Man, what an atrocity this turned out to be. I don't think many people would have complained if they kept this as short and sweet as Goldberg vs. Lesnar from Survivor Series 2016. There were some embarrassing botches down the stretch that likely caused the contest to end sooner than they planned. Goldberg is in much better shape than 'Taker at this stage of his career, so The Phenom beating him with a weak-looking chokeslam was deflating, to say the least.
Surely no one is shocked that Super ShowDown was a super-sized waste of time. I honestly can't recommend a single match from this show, because everything was either average at best or well below that. The main event in particular was really rough and should not have happened in 2019. The best thing I can say about this event is that it's over at long last and we can move on from it... until they head back to Saudi Arabia for another one of these glorified house shows in the fall, that is. It's debatable which was worse between Super ShowDown and Crown Jewel, but either way, they were both deplorable. Spend the four hours watching AEW Double or Nothing or NXT TakeOver: XXV instead.